Time to Start Busting that Story!

by | Sep 30, 2016 | 0 comments

Being the victim in life is easy, when the blame is on others we dont’ have to be self-aware, we can point the finger at someone else.
We all know someone like this and we have all been this person at one time or another. This is called denial of what’s going on, it’s living in victim stories and not taking a hard look in the mirror to the truth. Our story is where our pain is so it’s no surprise so many of us don’t want to face it.

It also makes sense to take a closer look at it to see what is real and what part did we subconsciously make up about it?
This is Stage 3 in the Radical Forgiveness Process.
time-to-bust-the-story

Often a bigger story is made up about what happened because we are so hurt we need to somehow feel better around the situation.
As time goes on we will go deeper into our victim mode and our story gets bigger. Our ego wants us to stay with the program it is operating from. This is why people can stay stuck in misery and pain for years and sometime lifetimes.

It’s also possible we unconsciously create this bigger story to provide clues to what we may be needing to heal (forgive) within ourselves and come to know that we are all connected and all One.

Radical Forgiveness believes in this last possibility, the very reason to the story is to bring light to what we need to heal from.

When we start collapsing the story and separate fact from interpretation this is where we can learn the real truth about ourselves and get closer to remembering who we really are. We become more conscious and aware, the opposite of the victim.

When we look back to how the story began we can find the facts where the core negative beliefs came from. This usually happens in childhood and we have taken personal meaning to it, as children do.
It is then repressed and made active in our subconscious mind.
In order to bring awareness to heal the original pain the false belief will continue to repeat and reinforce itself. We can either notice it and do something about it or we can believe it and stay stuck.

We are all energy and subconsciously attract others to create situations for us to experience. Hopefully at some point in our lives we realize what we need to pay attention to and examine our thoughts and feelings and why we are having them.

It’s about taking responsibility for our life circumstances in all areas which is a direct reflection of what’s going on with us internally.
We will find we don’t repeat the pattern once we have dealt with the false core negative belief by forgiving others and ourselves. The stuck energy is dissolved.

But how do we find out what’s really going on? facts-vs-interpretations
We separate the facts of the story and what we interpreted as a young child by putting the story into a Forgiveness Centrifuge to separate it.

When we separate facts from interpretations we begin to see a pattern of what our false negative belief is.
Take your present day situation which is causing you discomfort, think about how you would tell someone what happened then write down all the interpretations, (things you can’t prove are true, you just think they are).

Once you have your list, acknowledge the facts and accept them. No one can change this. Go easy on yourself, for some reason you needed to go through this. Stay with it, it’s part of being human.
Be careful you don’t make excuses for what happened. This is just more interpretations turned into story. You may never know why you were meant to experience this but find the learning and let it be.

Next time, a whole new way of looking at things!

Besides impacting the lives of others to ‘be real and love life’ the most powerful thing about the work I get to do is the reflections of the teachings that come back to me. I always receive some type of wisdom, healing or blessing from the experience, whether it’s a private, group session or a speaking event.

Whatever the message is that I’ve conveyed I am somehow reminded of how it applies to me as well and it guides me towards the next stage of my growth.

Being aware of the subtle messages that are being sent to guide us forward is very empowering.

Last weekend at the Soul Full Day conference, I guided a group of 70 women through a visualization meditation to identify and let go of a fear story holding them back from what they truly wanted for their life, freedom to live their love story.

It was remarkable to witness them releasing the fear and claiming their love stories, seeing and feeling themselves living in the higher potential of their dreams.

This week I’ve been deeply reminded of the fear story that I’ve been carrying, ‘not being well enough to live a fulfilling life because my digestive health is failing’.

This is the same story my grandmother carried, and she died in fear with this story in her which was unconsciously passed on to me, and I accepted it.

For 8 years now I’ve been having various challenges with my digestive health. I’ve seen many different professionals and tried many different remedies and lifestyle changes. Some have worked and some haven’t. Over time things seemed to have mostly settled, then just a month ago the issues flared up again in a bigger way.

This brought up the old fear story for me as I prepare for a trip of a lifetime. I’m going to Egypt on a sacred pilgrimage to the visit the lands and ancient sites with 13 other women. This will be my first trip overseas and I’ve always been fascinated with Egyptian history, never thinking I would get the opportunity to visit until it showed up to me. I was very drawn to go, and decided I was going, even though it felt way outside my ability to be able to take such a trip.

Worries and a wide range of emotions have been coming up for me since these flare ups have been happening. My mind races and makes up stories based in old fears.

What if I am not well enough to fully experience this trip? What if I am stuck in my room and miss the tours, or what if I am not able to digest the food there? All that disappointment and money spent if I might not be able to full experience it.

These stories are very similar to what my grandmother used to tell herself. She was afraid to go far from home, let alone on a plane to another country. Everything centred around her digestive limitations and she was petrified of having an ‘accident’ while out in public. These fear stories debilitated her and she became a hermit and was very lonely in her later years.

I will never forget seeing her in the final days of her life living in fear. I visited her almost every day and seeing her like that was very sad because there wasn’t much I could do other than comfort and reassure her that she would be ok.

What it did do was motivate me to face my own fears and not go down the same path as she did. In this regard, she was a great teacher to me and not long after she transitioned I was divinely guided to take the Radical Forgiveness Master Coach 10 day training in Atlanta.

It was a huge step for me, and again way outside my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because it set me on the trajectory of facing my fears, and the journey of living my love story.

I am eternally grateful to be on this path of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance just as I am, and in time I have learned to love myself. I’m still on this healing journey however this year I’ve had some major shifts in this area of my life and feel truly worthy and deserving of this love for myself because I have freedom from the fears.

Numerology 9

This is where the synchronicity comes in again.

It just so happens that this Friday, the day I fly to Egypt, is the 9 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and it’s a full moon!  You just can’t make these things up. I didn’t realize the mysterious alignment of these dates until just a few weeks ago.

In numerology the number 9 represents endings and completions and I have a strong intuitive feeling that this trip is going to be transformational for me as a new beginning.

The other day when I was dancing my grandmother came to my mind, she was dancing with me, and I know she is leaving me these breadcrumb signs to follow to complete this stage of my journey. I made a promise to her that I was going to end the cycle of fear she carried and commit myself to healing into wholeness.

I have no doubt that this is all happening for me, rather than to me.  And unlike my grandmother, I will face my fears and take this trip and I will trust in the divine unfoldment of it all.

I am reminded that everything is always working out for me, even if it doesn’t seem that way and she is cheering me on all along the way.

These are the same phrases I spoke to the women when I was on stage just a few days ago and they echo loudly in my mind as the beautiful blessings of having the freedom to live my love story.

If you would like to experience the guided visualization for yourself listen to the audio recording so you too can be free from your fear story and claim your love story.

In my next blog I will share about my travel adventures so stay tuned, and if you would like to be notified when I share it you can join my email Love Letter list at the bottom of this page.

Until next time… thank you for being here.

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