Being the victim in life is easy, when the blame is on others we dont’ have to be self-aware, we can point the finger at someone else.
We all know someone like this and we have all been this person at one time or another. This is called denial of what’s going on, it’s living in victim stories and not taking a hard look in the mirror to the truth. Our story is where our pain is so it’s no surprise so many of us don’t want to face it.
It also makes sense to take a closer look at it to see what is real and what part did we subconsciously make up about it?
This is Stage 3 in the Radical Forgiveness Process.
Often a bigger story is made up about what happened because we are so hurt we need to somehow feel better around the situation.
As time goes on we will go deeper into our victim mode and our story gets bigger. Our ego wants us to stay with the program it is operating from. This is why people can stay stuck in misery and pain for years and sometime lifetimes.
It’s also possible we unconsciously create this bigger story to provide clues to what we may be needing to heal (forgive) within ourselves and come to know that we are all connected and all One.
Radical Forgiveness believes in this last possibility, the very reason to the story is to bring light to what we need to heal from.
When we start collapsing the story and separate fact from interpretation this is where we can learn the real truth about ourselves and get closer to remembering who we really are. We become more conscious and aware, the opposite of the victim.
When we look back to how the story began we can find the facts where the core negative beliefs came from. This usually happens in childhood and we have taken personal meaning to it, as children do.
It is then repressed and made active in our subconscious mind.
In order to bring awareness to heal the original pain the false belief will continue to repeat and reinforce itself. We can either notice it and do something about it or we can believe it and stay stuck.
We are all energy and subconsciously attract others to create situations for us to experience. Hopefully at some point in our lives we realize what we need to pay attention to and examine our thoughts and feelings and why we are having them.
It’s about taking responsibility for our life circumstances in all areas which is a direct reflection of what’s going on with us internally.
We will find we don’t repeat the pattern once we have dealt with the false core negative belief by forgiving others and ourselves. The stuck energy is dissolved.
But how do we find out what’s really going on?
We separate the facts of the story and what we interpreted as a young child by putting the story into a Forgiveness Centrifuge to separate it.
When we separate facts from interpretations we begin to see a pattern of what our false negative belief is.
Take your present day situation which is causing you discomfort, think about how you would tell someone what happened then write down all the interpretations, (things you can’t prove are true, you just think they are).
Once you have your list, acknowledge the facts and accept them. No one can change this. Go easy on yourself, for some reason you needed to go through this. Stay with it, it’s part of being human.
Be careful you don’t make excuses for what happened. This is just more interpretations turned into story. You may never know why you were meant to experience this but find the learning and let it be.
Next time, a whole new way of looking at things!