What if I just really don’t like them?

by Lorree | Jun 1, 2017 | 0 comments

The importance of forgiveness is talked about more and more these days. When forgiving doesn’t work for us we have trouble moving on with our life. We can carry around anger, resentment, and bitterness from the past and it shows up in our lives affecting our current relationships.

But what if you really just don’t like the person? Once you have forgiven them are you suppose to like them?

NO! Not at all!

I get this question a lot and it’s a common one that I too wondered when I was first navigating forgiveness.

One of the things I love about Radical Forgiveness is that it’s rooted in the ‘World of Humanity’ just as much as it is in the ‘World of Divine Truth’.

These terms are from the late Colin Tipping, who came up with the Radical Forgiveness concept, and basically, he is referring to our reality here on Earth and what’s going on behind the scenes.

I’m talking about the spiritual big picture, which is not our reality for the most part, but we do get glimpses of it, and the more ‘awakened’ we are the more glimpses we get.

So back to the answer to the question….

We always want to be human first. No one is saying we are supposed to like the person who we are forgiving, maybe they do not share our morals or are just not on our wavelength but we can appreciate that from the soul level they are in our lives to teach us lessons for our growth and possibly point us closer towards our mission of being here in the first place.

They don’t know this of course and we may never figure out the why and how of it all but it all goes back to the fact that if we have strong judgment and get upset about someone else’s behaviour then it’s a signal there is some type of healing for us in the situation.

This is a good time to practice Radical Forgiveness so we can unblock and transform the stuck energy and prevent ourselves from feeling like a victim for too long.

It’s completely normal to feel victimized when an upset happens, however, we don’t have to stay there. This is when we can become empowered and be in control of our emotions and reactions towards the other person and the situation as well as not projecting our feelings about it onto someone who doesn’t have anything to do with it. (You know when you take your upset out on someone about something minor and you feel like a heel afterward?)

When you don’t feel like a victim and you remember there is something bigger going on you will find you don’t get upset as you did before when the person who you don’t care for is just being them.

We always have choices. We can find ways to be true to ourselves by spending less or little time with them as well as accepting them as they are, they just aren’t for us.

The big thing to remember is to always take the opportunity to heal and grow from it. If you don’t see it then sit back and observe the situation, what are your thoughts and feelings about it, what is being mirrored to you by them?

Find the message in the mess and take the high road. You will feel great about how you handled it and they will wonder why they don’t have the same effect on you anymore.

If you are ready to explore your forgiveness journey I offer complimentary clarity calls to explore what would be the best for you based on where you are and your level of readiness. If you would like to explore with me book your call here.

Besides impacting the lives of others to ‘be real and love life’ the most powerful thing about the work I get to do is the reflections of the teachings that come back to me. I always receive some type of wisdom, healing or blessing from the experience, whether it’s a private, group session or a speaking event.

Whatever the message is that I’ve conveyed I am somehow reminded of how it applies to me as well and it guides me towards the next stage of my growth.

Being aware of the subtle messages that are being sent to guide us forward is very empowering.

Last weekend at the Soul Full Day conference, I guided a group of 70 women through a visualization meditation to identify and let go of a fear story holding them back from what they truly wanted for their life, freedom to live their love story.

It was remarkable to witness them releasing the fear and claiming their love stories, seeing and feeling themselves living in the higher potential of their dreams.

This week I’ve been deeply reminded of the fear story that I’ve been carrying, ‘not being well enough to live a fulfilling life because my digestive health is failing’.

This is the same story my grandmother carried, and she died in fear with this story in her which was unconsciously passed on to me, and I accepted it.

For 8 years now I’ve been having various challenges with my digestive health. I’ve seen many different professionals and tried many different remedies and lifestyle changes. Some have worked and some haven’t. Over time things seemed to have mostly settled, then just a month ago the issues flared up again in a bigger way.

This brought up the old fear story for me as I prepare for a trip of a lifetime. I’m going to Egypt on a sacred pilgrimage to the visit the lands and ancient sites with 13 other women. This will be my first trip overseas and I’ve always been fascinated with Egyptian history, never thinking I would get the opportunity to visit until it showed up to me. I was very drawn to go, and decided I was going, even though it felt way outside my ability to be able to take such a trip.

Worries and a wide range of emotions have been coming up for me since these flare ups have been happening. My mind races and makes up stories based in old fears.

What if I am not well enough to fully experience this trip? What if I am stuck in my room and miss the tours, or what if I am not able to digest the food there? All that disappointment and money spent if I might not be able to full experience it.

These stories are very similar to what my grandmother used to tell herself. She was afraid to go far from home, let alone on a plane to another country. Everything centred around her digestive limitations and she was petrified of having an ‘accident’ while out in public. These fear stories debilitated her and she became a hermit and was very lonely in her later years.

I will never forget seeing her in the final days of her life living in fear. I visited her almost every day and seeing her like that was very sad because there wasn’t much I could do other than comfort and reassure her that she would be ok.

What it did do was motivate me to face my own fears and not go down the same path as she did. In this regard, she was a great teacher to me and not long after she transitioned I was divinely guided to take the Radical Forgiveness Master Coach 10 day training in Atlanta.

It was a huge step for me, and again way outside my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because it set me on the trajectory of facing my fears, and the journey of living my love story.

I am eternally grateful to be on this path of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance just as I am, and in time I have learned to love myself. I’m still on this healing journey however this year I’ve had some major shifts in this area of my life and feel truly worthy and deserving of this love for myself because I have freedom from the fears.

This is where the synchronicity comes in again.

It just so happens that this Friday, the day I fly to Egypt, is the 9 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and it’s a full moon! You just can’t make these things up. I didn’t realize the mysterious alignment of these dates until just a few weeks ago.

In numerology the number 9 represents endings and completions and I have a strong intuitive feeling that this trip is going to be transformational for me as a new beginning.

The other day when I was dancing my grandmother came to my mind, she was dancing with me, and I know she is leaving me these breadcrumb signs to follow to complete this stage of my journey. I made a promise to her that I was going to end the cycle of fear she carried and commit myself to healing into wholeness.

I have no doubt that this is all happening for me, rather than to me. And unlike my grandmother, I will face my fears and take this trip and I will trust in the divine unfoldment of it all.

I am reminded that everything is always working out for me, even if it doesn’t seem that way and she is cheering me on all along the way.

These are the same phrases I spoke to the women when I was on stage just a few days ago and they echo loudly in my mind as the beautiful blessings of having the freedom to live my love story.

If you would like to experience the guided visualization for yourself listen to the audio recording so you too can be free from your fear story and claim your love story.

In my next blog I will share about my travel adventures so stay tuned, and if you would like to be notified when I share it you can join my email Love Letter list at the bottom of this page.

Until next time… thank you for being here.

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