What if I just really don’t like them?

by | Jun 1, 2017 | 0 comments

The importance of forgiveness is talked about more and more these days. When forgiving doesn’t work for us we have trouble moving on with our life. We can carry around anger, resentment, and bitterness from the past and it shows up in our lives affecting our current relationships.

But what if you really just don’t like the person? Once you have forgiven them are you suppose to like them?

NO! Not at all!

I get this question a lot and it’s a common one that I too wondered when I was first navigating forgiveness.

One of the things I love about Radical Forgiveness is that it’s rooted in the ‘World of Humanity’ just as much as it is in the ‘World of Divine Truth’.

These terms are from the late Colin Tipping, who came up with the Radical Forgiveness concept, and basically, he is referring to our reality here on Earth and what’s going on behind the scenes.

I’m talking about the spiritual big picture, which is not our reality for the most part, but we do get glimpses of it, and the more ‘awakened’ we are the more glimpses we get.

So back to the answer to the question….

I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It's a gift you give yourself. ~ T D Jakes We always want to be human first. No one is saying we are supposed to like the person who we are forgiving, maybe they do not share our morals or are just not on our wavelength but we can appreciate that from the soul level they are in our lives to teach us lessons for our growth and possibly point us closer towards our mission of being here in the first place.

They don’t know this of course and we may never figure out the why and how of it all but it all goes back to the fact that if we have strong judgment and get upset about someone else’s behaviour then it’s a signal there is some type of healing for us in the situation.

This is a good time to practice Radical Forgiveness so we can unblock and transform the stuck energy and prevent ourselves from feeling like a victim for too long.

It’s completely normal to feel victimized when an upset happens, however, we don’t have to stay there. This is when we can become empowered and be in control of our emotions and reactions towards the other person and the situation as well as not projecting our feelings about it onto someone who doesn’t have anything to do with it.  (You know when you take your upset out on someone about something minor and you feel like a heel afterward?)

When you don’t feel like a victim and you remember there is something bigger going on you will find you don’t get upset as you did before when the person who you don’t care for is just being them.

We always have choices. We can find ways to be true to ourselves by spending less or little time with them as well as accepting them as they are, they just aren’t for us.

The big thing to remember is to always take the opportunity to heal and grow from it. If you don’t see it then sit back and observe the situation, what are your thoughts and feelings about it, what is being mirrored to you by them?

Find the message in the mess and take the high road. You will feel great about how you handled it and they will wonder why they don’t have the same effect on you anymore.

If you are ready to explore your forgiveness journey I offer complimentary clarity calls to explore what would be the best for you based on where you are and your level of readiness. If you would like to explore with me book your call here.

 

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