What does Authentic Feminine Leadership mean to you?
In the past, it sounded to me like a tall order that I was not worthy of achieving.
I feared being authentic and I was a follower, not a leader. It’s not that I didn’t want to be, it was that I was afraid that if others knew my past or my points of view they would not like me.
If they found out I was not perfect or the way they thought I ‘should’ be they would be upset with me, I would be challenged and judged, or even ridiculed, and that would embarrass me. (I had my fair share of embarrassment as a teen so I was not up for more.)
Back in the day I felt rejected and alone because I didn’t fit in with the cool kids, the ‘in’ crowd. So I rejected them before I could be rejected and I hung out with the outsiders, the misfits, the ones who didn’t fit in either.
I followed the crowd and it didn’t serve me very well at the time. It got me into a lot of trouble which ate away at my self-esteem. In the end, I didn’t trust myself to make good decisions because I had made some bad ones. I was as far from being a leader as I could be at that time.
Through it all I had a fire burning in me to go after what I wanted, so to feel safe I did it in baby steps.
In my early years I trained and became a hairstylist, I moved out on my own, met a guy, very quickly fell in love, had a child, got married, had another child, bought a house, and then went to college while we raised our family. Maybe a little out of order to some but it’s what suited us and it was a blessing the way it all unfolded when I look back on my life.
That’s the happy version, we also went through painful experiences of tragic deaths, struggling with addictions and family betrayals along with our own dysfunction as a couple who became codependent on each other.
I choose to look at it as character-building years because it wasn’t all bad, we deeply loved each other and still do, we were together when it counted and we managed to raise two children we are proud of and we do our best for them.
However along the way, I lost myself and once the kids got older and my health began to deteriorate I learned to lead myself, bit by bit over the last 10 years.
I had to have a breakdown of many things to see the urgency of being my authentic self. I reclaimed my personal power because I got to know her, accept her and love her.
It’s scary facing your truth, it made me feel vulnerable to open my heart and risk rejection again. I learned to feel the fear and do it anyway and that’s when I started tapping into my spirituality for strength and support.
Fear = Feel Everything And Rise
I began to slowly let my guard down and lead from my heart. I educated myself and invested in my personal development. I did my best to set a good example for my family.
I began to be an authentic feminine leader at work, in my home, and in anything I did. I lead by example. I make mistakes along the way and learn from them.
I kept going, I kept expanding myself and getting to know who I really am which I still do. I chose to focus on solutions to problems; I ask myself, How could it be better next time?
I did some soul searching and determined my core values and I do my best to stay within them. As the years have gone by they have become clearer and I feel out of alignment if I am not in line with them.
It started for me by leading myself. This is my experience which may not be like yours so I encourage you to contemplate what authentic feminine leadership means to you.
In a future blog, I will share more about the qualities of an authentic feminine leader is and how we can lead ourselves.
Until then, if you are ready to take the first step in leading yourself by putting yourself first I’m creating an online course called The Self-First Journey launching in the summer of 2021.
If you would like to learn more about this course just add your name and email to the list in the link below and I’ll be in touch with more information. Click here.
Until next time, here’s to stepping into your own version of leadership.
Besides impacting the lives of others to ‘be real and love life’ the most powerful thing about the work I get to do is the reflections of the teachings that come back to me. I always receive some type of wisdom, healing or blessing from the experience, whether it’s a private, group session or a speaking event.
Whatever the message is that I’ve conveyed I am somehow reminded of how it applies to me as well and it guides me towards the next stage of my growth.
Being aware of the subtle messages that are being sent to guide us forward is very empowering.
Last weekend at the Soul Full Day conference, I guided a group of 70 women through a visualization meditation to identify and let go of a fear story holding them back from what they truly wanted for their life, freedom to live their love story.
It was remarkable to witness them releasing the fear and claiming their love stories, seeing and feeling themselves living in the higher potential of their dreams.
This week I’ve been deeply reminded of the fear story that I’ve been carrying, ‘not being well enough to live a fulfilling life because my digestive health is failing’.
This is the same story my grandmother carried, and she died in fear with this story in her which was unconsciously passed on to me, and I accepted it.
For 8 years now I’ve been having various challenges with my digestive health. I’ve seen many different professionals and tried many different remedies and lifestyle changes. Some have worked and some haven’t. Over time things seemed to have mostly settled, then just a month ago the issues flared up again in a bigger way.
This brought up the old fear story for me as I prepare for a trip of a lifetime. I’m going to Egypt on a sacred pilgrimage to the visit the lands and ancient sites with 13 other women. This will be my first trip overseas and I’ve always been fascinated with Egyptian history, never thinking I would get the opportunity to visit until it showed up to me. I was very drawn to go, and decided I was going, even though it felt way outside my ability to be able to take such a trip.
Worries and a wide range of emotions have been coming up for me since these flare ups have been happening. My mind races and makes up stories based in old fears.
What if I am not well enough to fully experience this trip? What if I am stuck in my room and miss the tours, or what if I am not able to digest the food there? All that disappointment and money spent if I might not be able to full experience it.
These stories are very similar to what my grandmother used to tell herself. She was afraid to go far from home, let alone on a plane to another country. Everything centred around her digestive limitations and she was petrified of having an ‘accident’ while out in public. These fear stories debilitated her and she became a hermit and was very lonely in her later years.
I will never forget seeing her in the final days of her life living in fear. I visited her almost every day and seeing her like that was very sad because there wasn’t much I could do other than comfort and reassure her that she would be ok.
What it did do was motivate me to face my own fears and not go down the same path as she did. In this regard, she was a great teacher to me and not long after she transitioned I was divinely guided to take the Radical Forgiveness Master Coach 10 day training in Atlanta.
It was a huge step for me, and again way outside my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because it set me on the trajectory of facing my fears, and the journey of living my love story.
I am eternally grateful to be on this path of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance just as I am, and in time I have learned to love myself. I’m still on this healing journey however this year I’ve had some major shifts in this area of my life and feel truly worthy and deserving of this love for myself because I have freedom from the fears.
This is where the synchronicity comes in again.
It just so happens that this Friday, the day I fly to Egypt, is the 9 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and it’s a full moon! You just can’t make these things up. I didn’t realize the mysterious alignment of these dates until just a few weeks ago.
In numerology the number 9 represents endings and completions and I have a strong intuitive feeling that this trip is going to be transformational for me as a new beginning.
The other day when I was dancing my grandmother came to my mind, she was dancing with me, and I know she is leaving me these breadcrumb signs to follow to complete this stage of my journey. I made a promise to her that I was going to end the cycle of fear she carried and commit myself to healing into wholeness.
I have no doubt that this is all happening for me, rather than to me. And unlike my grandmother, I will face my fears and take this trip and I will trust in the divine unfoldment of it all.
I am reminded that everything is always working out for me, even if it doesn’t seem that way and she is cheering me on all along the way.
These are the same phrases I spoke to the women when I was on stage just a few days ago and they echo loudly in my mind as the beautiful blessings of having the freedom to live my love story.
If you would like to experience the guided visualization for yourself listen to the audio recording so you too can be free from your fear story and claim your love story.
In my next blog I will share about my travel adventures so stay tuned, and if you would like to be notified when I share it you can join my email Love Letter list at the bottom of this page.
Until next time… thank you for being here.
So beautiful! Seeking and finding our Truth can be life changing. As I keep doing some personal development for myself, I’m finding so much peace and I’ve got so much gratitude for your leadership in helping me find my authentic self because when I’m 100% authentic I’m in complete balance and ohhh what an amazing feeling.
Thank you for sharing Chantal, this makes me so happy to know you are finding your way to the real you!