What does Authentic Feminine Leadership mean to you?
In the past, it sounded to me like a tall order that I was not worthy of achieving.
I feared being authentic and I was a follower, not a leader. It’s not that I didn’t want to be, it was that I was afraid that if others knew my past or my points of view they would not like me.
If they found out I was not perfect or the way they thought I ‘should’ be they would be upset with me, I would be challenged and judged, or even ridiculed, and that would embarrass me. (I had my fair share of embarrassment as a teen so I was not up for more.)
Back in the day I felt rejected and alone because I didn’t fit in with the cool kids, the ‘in’ crowd. So I rejected them before I could be rejected and I hung out with the outsiders, the misfits, the ones who didn’t fit in either.
I followed the crowd and it didn’t serve me very well at the time. It got me into a lot of trouble which ate away at my self-esteem. In the end, I didn’t trust myself to make good decisions because I had made some bad ones. I was as far from being a leader as I could be at that time.
Through it all I had a fire burning in me to go after what I wanted, so to feel safe I did it in baby steps.
In my early years I trained and became a hairstylist, I moved out on my own, met a guy, very quickly fell in love, had a child, got married, had another child, bought a house, and then went to college while we raised our family. Maybe a little out of order to some but it’s what suited us and it was a blessing the way it all unfolded when I look back on my life.
That’s the happy version, we also went through painful experiences of tragic deaths, struggling with addictions and family betrayals along with our own dysfunction as a couple who became codependent on each other.
I choose to look at it as character-building years because it wasn’t all bad, we deeply loved each other and still do, we were together when it counted and we managed to raise two children we are proud of and we do our best for them.
However along the way, I lost myself and once the kids got older and my health began to deteriorate I learned to lead myself, bit by bit over the last 10 years.
I had to have a breakdown of many things to see the urgency of being my authentic self. I reclaimed my personal power because I got to know her, accept her and love her.
It’s scary facing your truth, it made me feel vulnerable to open my heart and risk rejection again. I learned to feel the fear and do it anyway and that’s when I started tapping into my spirituality for strength and support.
Fear = Feel Everything And Rise
I began to slowly let my guard down and lead from my heart. I educated myself and invested in my personal development. I did my best to set a good example for my family.
I began to be an authentic feminine leader at work, in my home, and in anything I did. I lead by example. I make mistakes along the way and learn from them.
I kept going, I kept expanding myself and getting to know who I really am which I still do. I chose to focus on solutions to problems; I ask myself, How could it be better next time?
I did some soul searching and determined my core values and I do my best to stay within them. As the years have gone by they have become clearer and I feel out of alignment if I am not in line with them.
It started for me by leading myself. This is my experience which may not be like yours so I encourage you to contemplate what authentic feminine leadership means to you.
In a future blog, I will share more about the qualities of an authentic feminine leader is and how we can lead ourselves.
Until then, if you are ready to take the first step in leading yourself by putting yourself first I’m creating an online course called The Self-First Journey launching in the summer of 2021.
If you would like to learn more about this course just add your name and email to the list in the link below and I’ll be in touch with more information. Click here.
Until next time, here’s to stepping into your own version of leadership.