Self-Care IS Self-Love

by Lorree | Nov 14, 2022 | 0 comments

Why do so many of us struggle with consistent self-care?

Who do we do everything but truly love ourselves?

These are big questions I’ve been reflecting on, and while there are many answers, this is what I believe it comes down to.

We were not taught what real self-care is and how to love all parts of ourselves. We were taught to see life from a limited perspective of deficiency.

Besides society and the media’s mixed messages, most of us have parents and ancestors who came from wounded past environments based on lies, manipulation, war and abuse of all kinds which has lead to a normalized sense of growing dysfunction as it’s passes down the generations.

We carry it through our life mixed with our own experiences and how we respond to them and pass it on to our children.

This is also true for the beautiful and wonderful traits and qualities we have received from our lineages and we can take advantage of that.

Yet what remains is humanity is not able to truly love ourselves…yet.

Truth be told, we are a co-dependent society and the patterns of looking for the love we need outside of ourselves runs deep.

If you were not brought up to care for yourself because your parents didn’t consistently model this to you, you most likely struggle with loving yourself.

If you don’t love yourself you are going to struggle with receiving love from others. I know this because this is the journey I am on.

This stems back to what core beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us. So many false beliefs have been passed down to us that are not even ours and many now realize how important self-love is in order to be truly happy and healthy.

If this rings true for you and you’re unsure where to start, begin by taking stock of what is showing up in your life. Look at all areas and evaluate your level of satisfaction on a scale of 1-10.

Once you evaluate where you are now take a breath and begin with compassion for yourself. Facing our inner truth isn’t for the faint of heart, but would you rather face it or hide from it?

Once you have evaluated your life, think about your mental, emotional and physical energy that you give to others, and compare it to what you give to yourself.

What would you evaluate that to be? If it’s more than 50% going out then there’s going to be a deficit in your energy.

If our cup is empty of our attention, care and love how can we possibly give more of our energy to others?

We do it all the time, and it takes a toll on us.

This is a big lesson I’m still learning as a former people pleaser working in an industry where practicing self-care is mandatory in order to do the work I do.

For so many years I didn’t take good care of myself, it was always about serving others, family, work, friends, people in need more than me. Or so I thought.

These are all noble ways of being but if we are not giving to ourselves first then we are giving from a place of lack and emptiness.

I’ve had to teach myself that I’m worthy of care, love, attention, money and pleasure. Somedays my cup is half full and sometimes it runs over, and I’m happy to say it’s no longer on empty.

I’m more aware of my energy levels and practice loving self-care while I work through the feelings of guilt and even shame that can come up with it by identifying and feeling them.

It used to feel selfish to do this and that’s exactly why I resisted it. Being on this self-care journey in all aspects of mind, body and soul has taught me that it’s not selfish to put ourselves first.

This is how we begin to heal the relationship with ourself that has been deficient in self-love.

When we are loved and cared for we can more easily love all parts of ourself and feel confident that we are worthy of that love and care, and we can authentically express it and share it with others from the overflow.

If you are ready to do the work to feel worthy of self-care and self-love I invite you to consider having a clarity call with me by booking here, or take a look at my offerings at the same link to see what resonates with you.

There are several options to choose from that will support you on your self-love journey, because you are not meant to do it alone.

Besides impacting the lives of others to ‘be real and love life’ the most powerful thing about the work I get to do is the reflections of the teachings that come back to me. I always receive some type of wisdom, healing or blessing from the experience, whether it’s a private, group session or a speaking event.

Whatever the message is that I’ve conveyed I am somehow reminded of how it applies to me as well and it guides me towards the next stage of my growth.

Being aware of the subtle messages that are being sent to guide us forward is very empowering.

Last weekend at the Soul Full Day conference, I guided a group of 70 women through a visualization meditation to identify and let go of a fear story holding them back from what they truly wanted for their life, freedom to live their love story.

It was remarkable to witness them releasing the fear and claiming their love stories, seeing and feeling themselves living in the higher potential of their dreams.

This week I’ve been deeply reminded of the fear story that I’ve been carrying, ‘not being well enough to live a fulfilling life because my digestive health is failing’.

This is the same story my grandmother carried, and she died in fear with this story in her which was unconsciously passed on to me, and I accepted it.

For 8 years now I’ve been having various challenges with my digestive health. I’ve seen many different professionals and tried many different remedies and lifestyle changes. Some have worked and some haven’t. Over time things seemed to have mostly settled, then just a month ago the issues flared up again in a bigger way.

This brought up the old fear story for me as I prepare for a trip of a lifetime. I’m going to Egypt on a sacred pilgrimage to the visit the lands and ancient sites with 13 other women. This will be my first trip overseas and I’ve always been fascinated with Egyptian history, never thinking I would get the opportunity to visit until it showed up to me. I was very drawn to go, and decided I was going, even though it felt way outside my ability to be able to take such a trip.

Worries and a wide range of emotions have been coming up for me since these flare ups have been happening. My mind races and makes up stories based in old fears.

What if I am not well enough to fully experience this trip? What if I am stuck in my room and miss the tours, or what if I am not able to digest the food there? All that disappointment and money spent if I might not be able to full experience it.

These stories are very similar to what my grandmother used to tell herself. She was afraid to go far from home, let alone on a plane to another country. Everything centred around her digestive limitations and she was petrified of having an ‘accident’ while out in public. These fear stories debilitated her and she became a hermit and was very lonely in her later years.

I will never forget seeing her in the final days of her life living in fear. I visited her almost every day and seeing her like that was very sad because there wasn’t much I could do other than comfort and reassure her that she would be ok.

What it did do was motivate me to face my own fears and not go down the same path as she did. In this regard, she was a great teacher to me and not long after she transitioned I was divinely guided to take the Radical Forgiveness Master Coach 10 day training in Atlanta.

It was a huge step for me, and again way outside my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because it set me on the trajectory of facing my fears, and the journey of living my love story.

I am eternally grateful to be on this path of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance just as I am, and in time I have learned to love myself. I’m still on this healing journey however this year I’ve had some major shifts in this area of my life and feel truly worthy and deserving of this love for myself because I have freedom from the fears.

This is where the synchronicity comes in again.

It just so happens that this Friday, the day I fly to Egypt, is the 9 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and it’s a full moon! You just can’t make these things up. I didn’t realize the mysterious alignment of these dates until just a few weeks ago.

In numerology the number 9 represents endings and completions and I have a strong intuitive feeling that this trip is going to be transformational for me as a new beginning.

The other day when I was dancing my grandmother came to my mind, she was dancing with me, and I know she is leaving me these breadcrumb signs to follow to complete this stage of my journey. I made a promise to her that I was going to end the cycle of fear she carried and commit myself to healing into wholeness.

I have no doubt that this is all happening for me, rather than to me. And unlike my grandmother, I will face my fears and take this trip and I will trust in the divine unfoldment of it all.

I am reminded that everything is always working out for me, even if it doesn’t seem that way and she is cheering me on all along the way.

These are the same phrases I spoke to the women when I was on stage just a few days ago and they echo loudly in my mind as the beautiful blessings of having the freedom to live my love story.

If you would like to experience the guided visualization for yourself listen to the audio recording so you too can be free from your fear story and claim your love story.

In my next blog I will share about my travel adventures so stay tuned, and if you would like to be notified when I share it you can join my email Love Letter list at the bottom of this page.

Until next time… thank you for being here.

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