I’m pretty aware of when life is not flowing and that’s when I ask have to step back and ask myself,
What am I resisting here? What am I not seeing? What am I trying to get right? What am I judging?
One of the big lessons I’ve learned from so many I’ve mentored or coached with or have just come to know as trusted friends doing similar things I’m doing is ‘We can’t change what we judge.’ and I’ve proved it to myself many times over the years.
Here’s a common example I have faced that you may be able to relate with.
For the longest time I had several relationships with people who were close to me and I judged who they were being. I thought I knew better but really, who am I to think I know better? Maybe they are right where they need to be and I need to focus on my own life and not other people’s lives.
So I ask myself, Why do I care?
When I think they should change I am not accepting them for who they are. If who they are being is not in line with my morals and values then I don’t spend time with them.
I honour myself by doing this and I focus on me and my life, not having concern for what they are doing. I let it go and allow it to be what it is.
I must hand it over to the powers that be because it’s not my job to run others lives, it’s theirs.
Oh what a peaceful feeling it is to detach from my judgement. It allows me to have a much easier time accepting them for who they are. and myself too! Then guess what?
Change often happens on it’s own without me doing anything other than riding the wave and seeing where it takes me.
I remind myself to take care of me and then I am much better to serve others with detachment from their actions and outcomes.
I am not saying I never judge, this is human nature…however I am much more aware of my judgments and questions them. This is healthy self-awareness.
Of course I want good outcomes for others but I am not privy to the purposes of their journey. I don’t pretend I know what is best for anyone but myself, because I don’t!
I have had a habit of doing this in the past. Many sensitive, empathic people experience these challenges when it comes to relationships.
I now know if I am meant to contribute to bringing more ease into their lives it will organically unfold. I allow and see where it goes. I follow as I am led. This is easier now that I trust myself. When you don’t trust yourself you do a lot of second-guessing, worrying and fretting. (This was me)
Of course sometimes nothing changes and I know if it keeps bothering me it’s my issue to address with myself. Maybe I have to get some clarity and make a different choice.
It will unfold as it’s meant to and I will do something about it when it’s time. Those are all relative things, the awareness is the key to the ease.
Knowing these truths makes riding the waves of life much easier.
We ARE meant to ride them, embracing the ups and downs, the fun, exciting, sad and scary……because we signed up for all of it!
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