It is 8 days into 2022 and I have had the good fortune of being away up north at a chalet for a week spending quality time with my husband and nature.
I love going away at this time of year, it’s a time of reflection of the past and contemplation of what is to come. It’s a time to just be, it is the in-between times and I love the space between the two.
What I have realized is being isolated from people, and places for the past 22 months was exactly what I needed. I’m not saying I was never around others because I was but I chose carefully who I spent my time with and didn’t feel I ‘had to’ see others.
It simplified my decision-making and made the times I did spend with people more meaningful. Whenever I tried to plan something it rarely panned out, so I surrendered to the belief that I would be directed towards where I’m meant to be.
I have learned to trust divine timing and divine intervention more deeply. Let’s face it, life is not certain except that it’s going to change.
I did feel some guilt off and on that, I’d gotten exactly what I needed while so many others are suffering. Then I saw my pattern, I often felt this way in my past. I held myself back and stayed small so as to not offend or cause others to feel bad.
I am now aware this is a victim pattern from my past, so instead, I choose differently this year. I am in my power, coming from my heart, not dimming for anyone because that helps no one.
I choose to live life fully and follow the divine guidance given to me. How can I help anyone else if I don’t help myself first?
What I can also do is have compassion and belief in others, model what it’s like to be vulnerable, heal, grow, fall down and get back up again, laugh and cry and embrace this Soul Adventure we call life.
I have had more magical, joyful moments since March 2020 than I’ve had ever in my life.
To be able to be completely present in the moments of life, without carrying guilt or shame but to live fully, connect to others who I can be myself around, to marvel at the wonders of nature, exploring, communicating, and embodying the wisdom all around me.
That’s the good news and like everything, there is always another side.
It’s also been very depressing, it’s not hard to allow fear to take you over, we are having it drilled into our heads everywhere we go and most of what we consume digitally.
It’s damaging to our nervous systems when our thoughts are on a consistent loop of fight/flight or freeze. What’s next, what do we do, how to pivot, how can we prepare to be healthy, safe, and secure?
The conclusion I have come to is reality is shifting and changing and it’s never going to be the same.
So in a world that I cannot control, I choose to control how I respond to it and I’ve found out what works for me.
I am shifting from being an unconscious creator of my reality to a conscious creator of my life.
We know quantum physics proves we create our reality through our consciousness, so if we are unconsciously being given subliminal fear messaging we will create more of that.
When we are living in the moment, repeating positive affirmations to ourselves, and consciously observing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours and what is coming into our awareness we can consciously choose what we want to focus on and say No to the fear.
The thing is, if you have past fear patterning, which most of us do, we have to experience it fully before we can let it go. We have to feel it to heal it and that’s what’s been coming up for me, lots of feelings and emotions.
I honour myself and feel them, I allow them to move through me and out of my body. Then I feel better, lighter, I have more energy and hope.
I take note of what those triggers are that set me off, what are my core negative beliefs I have that drove the trigger, and what is the worst-case scenario in whatever is causing the fear in the first place?
Like many, this whole pandemic situation has caused me to re-evaluate everything in my life. What’s most important? What isn’t? What do I want to create?
To affirm: I am unapologetically standing in my truth, with my heart open and showing up for myself first, then I can help lift others up. My focus is on my health and well-being, this is most important to me because my health is my wealth.
This journey is an individual one and a collective, I realized as much as I want to, I can’t save anyone, we have to want to save ourselves and then take the steps to do so.
We are born with free will to choose, even though we seem to be losing those rights no one can tell me how I respond to life. This is how I stay in my personal power rather than giving it away to someone else who tells me what to think and feel and says they know what is best for me.
My intention is to live by my values, treat myself as the sacred being I am, and do the same to others. I will not be divided, I will not hate. I will open my heart and love with healthy boundaries and integrity in my intentions.
I wish you a Happy New Year, make your intentions your own, or someone else will do it for you.