This time of year is known as the season of giving and receiving. I believe we don’t need a season to do these heart-opening actions and when I focused on my own experiences I realized I was naturally better at giving, and receiving was more of a challenge for me.
The Universal Law of Polarity teaches us that giving and receiving are polar opposites of each other. Without one the other cannot exist, and they flow easily with an equal amount of each. We need a balance of both in our lives to feel centred in peace and harmony.
I have grown to learn that society has many distortions around healthy giving and receiving, and instead over our lifetimes, we have adopted some unhealthy ways to give and receive each other that take our life force energy from us, meaning our energy depends on another’s energy or theirs depends on ours.
This is draining and creates unhealthy stress on our bodies. You may be thinking, yes I am feeling drained, I’m over-giving to life’s demands and don’t know how to receive.
Allow me to elaborate, when we think in terms of energy it’s easier to understand.
Energy likes to move so when it gets stuck it is because something is out of balance somewhere. Stuck energy can be uncomfortable, and feel like pain or the anticipation of it.
A good example of what prevents us from giving and/or receiving are unprocessed, painful emotions that get stuck in our energy field and gradually will become dis-ease if we don’t experience them. This means acknowledge what it is, feel whatever comes up without judgment, and allow the energy in motion to move through our body so it can release.
This is often uncomfortable and so we resist it but if we think of it like energy moving through us and remember we will feel better when our energy flows again we can lean into the uncomfortableness and do what we here to do, experience it all fully!
It’s quite normal for our energy to fluctuate and the more aware we become of it the more in balance we can be which allows for free-flowing energy through us and our outside environment.
So what does this have to do with giving and receiving and where do we start?
By practicing putting ourselves first more than we are putting others first.
But that’s selfish!? ????
If it hasn’t already occurred to you, that belief is a program and it’s what keeps up stuck in resistance of looking selfish to others.
It’s not selfish from my perspective, and so what if it is. We have been out of balance through giving more than we are receiving, and to harmonize ourselves with our true, real self we need to counteract the energy by learning how to put ourself first and stay open to where in our lives we are giving away our power to someone or something.
Putting ourselves first is a balance of giving and receiving and it does take time to practice awareness and keep choosing your needs and desires as much if not more than you chose to give to another.
Below are some ideas of how you can give and receive more easily so you can expand your heart and express your soul qualities authentically.
Some soul quality examples, which we can also say come from our heart, are kindness, love, care, compassion, gratitude, appreciation, peace, purity of heart, truth, self-discipline, straightforwardness, forgiveness, gentleness, and modesty.
Being in the vibration of these qualities at least part of your day will make a huge difference with how you feel, how your day unfolds, and how others respond to you.
When we are giving from an empty cup we often run into feeling like we are not able to do enough for others, there’s always another thing or person that needs us and we keep leaving ourselves out.
It is the undoing of the embedded programs of self-sacrificing, rescuing, and unworthiness. We have had generations of these self-defeating patterns passed down to us so go easy on yourself if this is you. Keep your soul qualities top of mind and practice them, even if it’s just a few moments at a time.
It’s time to balance the scales and make up for what we really wanted and needed all along, love, respect, trust, understanding, and acceptance. When we focus on balancing our energies we can create from a place of abundance because we are in alignment with our soul, and we reach our soul through our heart.
Below are some ideas on how to give and receive from a place of honouring and respecting all, having faith in the abundance of life, and from your heart and soul’s true expression.
GIVE time and space before saying yes.
Pause, give yourself time for the most aligned choice to be made after checking in with yourself before you say yes or move forward on an idea. This might mean sleeping on it, getting back to someone in a day or two, journaling it out, or contemplating the pros and cons of it.
This also works for others, don’t expect or demand a yes before someone has checked in with themselves first. Then accept their decision, even if it’s not the one you wanted.
RECEIVE intuition and guidance in alignment with you.
When we take the time to check in with ourselves before we say yes to someone or something we are more likely to put our needs first. This honours both parties because it is an equal energy exchange. When we say yes without checking in we have come from a codependent space that we depend on their acceptance of us before we honour ourselves.
Now obviously this does not apply to someone in dire need of our assistance. You can work towards equilibrium as an 80/20 rule. When our energy is out of balance and we come from a place of lack and scarcity it creates disharmony in our body where energy can get stuck or be slow-moving.
Be open to putting your needs first. The way to do this is to receive the messages your body is always sending. Be still, tune in, focus your attention, ask questions, pay close attention to the answers. Becoming a receiver of energy in a healthy way takes practice and patience.
GIVE the benefit of the doubt before judging another.
We don’t know what it’s like to live someone else’s life, we don’t know what they have or are currently going through and when we have been hurt before it’s easy to become jaded and judge others before we have any information.
These are most often our own projections we have put on to others so before pointing the finger at someone else take a moment and tap into your soul qualities of compassion, care, and kindness and accept them for who they are at the moment.
It’s probably has nothing to do with you.
Give others the benefit of the doubt and take a look at what your judgments of them are, are you judging yourself in some similar but different way? This is all part of our inner work, what bothers us in another is an opportunity to heal a part of us calling out to be loved and accepted.
RECEIVE compassion and understanding through validation and contemplation.
We are often our biggest critics and our negative self-talk can keep us feeling unworthy or in lack. We can more easily receive compassion and understanding when we have given it to others so pay attention to your internal dialogue and stop being so hard on yourself. Validate your feelings, your perspectives, your past, present, and future.
This is what it means to be human, we are imperfectly perfect!
Ask yourself some questions about the judgments coming up for you and see where it’s coming from. Where did you learn to judge from? Are you repeating a pattern that is not serving you? What could you do differently to break the pattern of judgment?
Receive the answers by listening to your soul’s inner wisdom with curiosity as you let the pen flow with the answers. Don’t think, tune in through your breath, and have focused attention in the present.
GIVE from love without expectation.
When we give from a place of love we are authentically giving and the energy behind it is powerful because it creates a heart connection.
Even thinking about how we can give and how great it feels to another is beneficial for the giver as well as the receiver.
When another is in need we feel a strong desire to give them help or support our heart calls us to their aid.
Giving with no strings attached is a clean energetic way to give, it comes from a pure place of genuinely wanting to give without expectations.
We can give easily just by giving a genuine compliment, showing appreciation, random or otherwise, or simply saying a heartfelt thank you. How often do you sprinkle some giving into your day? Give it a try and see how you feel.
RECEIVE with gratitude, honour, and appreciation.
We need to have receivers or we have no one to give to. Allowing yourself to receive fills you up with positive life force energy. Often people who struggle with receiving have feelings of not deserving or like they owe them something in return because they did nothing for it. Just by existing, we deserve and when we practice opening our heart to receive what someone else is giving to us is a beautiful form of self-care for yourself and for the giver.
I wish you many opportunities to give and receive, stay open to them, and expand your heart!