“We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
This is what Colin Tipping states in his book, Radical Forgiveness, and you may have heard others say similar to this.
What does this mean? This is what I, and many others believe: we come here on Earth to experience the opposite of love and oneness, which is fear and separation. To fully understand one you have to fully experience the other.
At some time or another we have all felt scared, sad, alone… like no one understands how we are feeling…. and it really can get to the point of feeling hopeless. There are many people who feel like this daily and it can come in the form of depression or anxiety.
So here’s a concept…this is part of the human experience we signed up for! To feel…pain, suffering, desperation, anger, resentment…the list goes on. To grow, learn the lessons we came here to learn, and to heal.
If you don’t buy this concept that’s ok, can you be willing to being open that it might be true? It really doesn’t matter if you believe it or not, I didn’t either at first. Just be open with me on this for now.
We have also experienced the ‘nice’ feelings, such as, love, happiness, gratitude and so on. Those ones are easy to feel but the ‘not so nice’ ones we tend to avoid feeling if possible by ignoring or denying them. Or we wallow in them because we have a lot of built up guilt and shame from our past limiting beliefs about ourselves; and sometimes we don’t even know it’s there beneath the surface, sucking our energy and screwing up our lives when we don’t deal with them.
In the course of my experience with Radical Forgiveness this has come up a lot. It’s actually one of the most crucial steps to releasing our stuck, blocked energy. Having our feelings and feeling them is the essence of being human.
You may have experienced what happens when you don’t feel your feelings. Your body gets uncomfortable, your stomach may get upset, you might get a headache and mentally it’s not a positive experience.
But wait! You might say this happens when you feel your feelings too, and you would be right, but the difference is when you get the feeling part over with at the time, or shortly thereafter, you will get past the uncomfortable feeling much quicker. The feelings won’t keep coming up in your life in different circumstances and when you least expect it in an obtrusive, uncomfortable way that may hurt someone you care about.
When we allow ourselves to feel and once it’s passed, there will be some calm around the situation and you will be ready to look at it with a different perspective.
Stuffing our feelings, acting as if we don’t have them, doesn’t work well. They will come back time and time again. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about and many people are raised to do this, especially men.
Either way, they are coming out, we see this all the time, there are a lot of hurt people hurting people. I will acknowledge there are terrible things people experience and those feelings can be unbearable to go through. So much that they will repress them because they can’t handle it. This is our brain’s defense mechanism to protect us and professional help is usually what will help to uncover, feel and move past the situation in due time. Another way is Radical Forgiveness.
I recently attended a Miracles Workshop given by the founder of Radical Forgiveness, Colin Tipping. A small group of us spent 2.5 days acknowledging our deep pain from our pasts which instilled core negative beliefs about ourselves. These beliefs hold us back from having good relationships, happiness and being the creator of our lives.
So many people are being held back by their un-healed childhood pain, so for two days we felt our feelings. We confronted our perpetrators in various exercises. The part that felt the best was when we beat on a pillow with a tennis racket, I didn’t know I had so much anger in me and it felt amazing to get it out of my body!
Yes it was uncomfortable at times, and we were all vulnerable, never having gone that deep with our feelings, but after we cleared out years of pain we felt stronger in having experienced it all and at peace with our situations. We could look at it with a different perspective, a Radical Forgiveness perspective.
We were meant to experience our pain in order to fulfill our reason for being here. I know this may be a hard concept to grasp but it’s a whole lot better than living stuck with no way out, trying to numb the pain with escapism and addictions.
It truly was a Miracle for everyone, after we got through all those feelings and to the other side, where peace and love were waiting for us, it was well worth the risk, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Want to know more? Read Radical Forgiveness. It has changed thousands of peoples’ lives and it can change yours too! You can order the eBook here.
Besides impacting the lives of others to ‘be real and love life’ the most powerful thing about the work I get to do is the reflections of the teachings that come back to me. I always receive some type of wisdom, healing or blessing from the experience, whether it’s a private, group session or a speaking event.
Whatever the message is that I’ve conveyed I am somehow reminded of how it applies to me as well and it guides me towards the next stage of my growth.
Being aware of the subtle messages that are being sent to guide us forward is very empowering.
Last weekend at the Soul Full Day conference, I guided a group of 70 women through a visualization meditation to identify and let go of a fear story holding them back from what they truly wanted for their life, freedom to live their love story.
It was remarkable to witness them releasing the fear and claiming their love stories, seeing and feeling themselves living in the higher potential of their dreams.
This week I’ve been deeply reminded of the fear story that I’ve been carrying, ‘not being well enough to live a fulfilling life because my digestive health is failing’.
This is the same story my grandmother carried, and she died in fear with this story in her which was unconsciously passed on to me, and I accepted it.
For 8 years now I’ve been having various challenges with my digestive health. I’ve seen many different professionals and tried many different remedies and lifestyle changes. Some have worked and some haven’t. Over time things seemed to have mostly settled, then just a month ago the issues flared up again in a bigger way.
This brought up the old fear story for me as I prepare for a trip of a lifetime. I’m going to Egypt on a sacred pilgrimage to the visit the lands and ancient sites with 13 other women. This will be my first trip overseas and I’ve always been fascinated with Egyptian history, never thinking I would get the opportunity to visit until it showed up to me. I was very drawn to go, and decided I was going, even though it felt way outside my ability to be able to take such a trip.
Worries and a wide range of emotions have been coming up for me since these flare ups have been happening. My mind races and makes up stories based in old fears.
What if I am not well enough to fully experience this trip? What if I am stuck in my room and miss the tours, or what if I am not able to digest the food there? All that disappointment and money spent if I might not be able to full experience it.
These stories are very similar to what my grandmother used to tell herself. She was afraid to go far from home, let alone on a plane to another country. Everything centred around her digestive limitations and she was petrified of having an ‘accident’ while out in public. These fear stories debilitated her and she became a hermit and was very lonely in her later years.
I will never forget seeing her in the final days of her life living in fear. I visited her almost every day and seeing her like that was very sad because there wasn’t much I could do other than comfort and reassure her that she would be ok.
What it did do was motivate me to face my own fears and not go down the same path as she did. In this regard, she was a great teacher to me and not long after she transitioned I was divinely guided to take the Radical Forgiveness Master Coach 10 day training in Atlanta.
It was a huge step for me, and again way outside my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because it set me on the trajectory of facing my fears, and the journey of living my love story.
I am eternally grateful to be on this path of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance just as I am, and in time I have learned to love myself. I’m still on this healing journey however this year I’ve had some major shifts in this area of my life and feel truly worthy and deserving of this love for myself because I have freedom from the fears.
This is where the synchronicity comes in again.
It just so happens that this Friday, the day I fly to Egypt, is the 9 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and it’s a full moon! You just can’t make these things up. I didn’t realize the mysterious alignment of these dates until just a few weeks ago.
In numerology the number 9 represents endings and completions and I have a strong intuitive feeling that this trip is going to be transformational for me as a new beginning.
The other day when I was dancing my grandmother came to my mind, she was dancing with me, and I know she is leaving me these breadcrumb signs to follow to complete this stage of my journey. I made a promise to her that I was going to end the cycle of fear she carried and commit myself to healing into wholeness.
I have no doubt that this is all happening for me, rather than to me. And unlike my grandmother, I will face my fears and take this trip and I will trust in the divine unfoldment of it all.
I am reminded that everything is always working out for me, even if it doesn’t seem that way and she is cheering me on all along the way.
These are the same phrases I spoke to the women when I was on stage just a few days ago and they echo loudly in my mind as the beautiful blessings of having the freedom to live my love story.
If you would like to experience the guided visualization for yourself listen to the audio recording so you too can be free from your fear story and claim your love story.
In my next blog I will share about my travel adventures so stay tuned, and if you would like to be notified when I share it you can join my email Love Letter list at the bottom of this page.
Until next time… thank you for being here.
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