When I meet people and I tell them what I do I get different responses back, but a few stand out to me that are common.
Why would I want to forgive? It’s in my past. Why would I want to bring that up again? I’m over it. It doesn’t bother me anymore.
OR… I’m not ready to forgive.
I had these exact thoughts when I met a Forgiveness Coach a few years back. Especially ‘I’m not ready to forgive’.
Many people don’t feel ready to forgive for a few reasons. They don’t want to re-live the pain of their past, it’s easier to leave it where it is. Radical Forgiveness doesn’t require you to dig up your past.
They don’t want to bring up old emotions; they actually don’t even think it bothers them because it’s buried so deep in their DNA they don’t realize it’s still there in their body deep down. (I experienced this.) Radical Forgiveness helps you feel your feelings and love and accept yourself for having them so you can release them. This is imperative to the process and relieves a lot of guilt and pain in itself.
They also don’t think the person who they have the grievance with deserves to be forgiven. That would let them off the hook and, damn it, they should be accountable for what they did! (That was my thought.) Radical Forgiveness is for YOU not the other person. When you withhold love from someone else you are also withholding it from yourself. It cannot be separated as much as we might try to.
Another big reason people avoid forgiving is that it’s their identity. The longer you have a victim story (the story where someone did something wrong to you) the more you will identify with it; and to change it would mean feeling like you won’t know who you are anymore. Radical Forgiveness helps you to connect and identify with who you really are, not the hurt, suffering you, the higher self, inner you.
Whether you like it or not, if you don’t validate and release your pent up, stuffed emotions around the issue(s) it stays inside of you.
You will notice when something comes up you might have overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, bitterness or frustration. That’s your old emotions coming up around the issue you didn’t heal. It’s inside you as a stuck energy block and will come up when you don’t expect it, frequently lashing out at someone else or at yourself internally.
It takes SO MUCH energy to hang on to our stories and on top of that many of us worry about the future which takes even more energy. If we are using a large portion of our energy holding on to these stories and potential stories we have very little left for the present moment.
This is a big contributor to depression, anxiety, low energy, a dismal outlook on life and feeling stuck and helpless. (I was feeling like this, I knew I had so much to be grateful for but I didn’t feel it.)
Do you relate to any of this? If you can, I have a solution for you.
If you are sick of feeling stuck and unhappy and are ready for a change in your life I invite you to attend my workshop, The ‘Magic’ of Radical Forgiveness. Click here for the next one.
It’s a powerful experience thousands of people all over the world have taken part in and I am bringing it to Toronto!
This half day workshop is where you can safely forgive everyone in your life, including yourself, without having to tell your stories. You can be the victim or the perpetrator, it doesn’t matter, no one will know.
Find out more details here and if you have any questions please feel free to email me.
Maybe you know someone who could benefit from forgiveness? Please share this workshop with them; you may just help change someone’s life!
Namaste.
Besides impacting the lives of others to ‘be real and love life’ the most powerful thing about the work I get to do is the reflections of the teachings that come back to me. I always receive some type of wisdom, healing or blessing from the experience, whether it’s a private, group session or a speaking event.
Whatever the message is that I’ve conveyed I am somehow reminded of how it applies to me as well and it guides me towards the next stage of my growth.
Being aware of the subtle messages that are being sent to guide us forward is very empowering.
Last weekend at the Soul Full Day conference, I guided a group of 70 women through a visualization meditation to identify and let go of a fear story holding them back from what they truly wanted for their life, freedom to live their love story.
It was remarkable to witness them releasing the fear and claiming their love stories, seeing and feeling themselves living in the higher potential of their dreams.
This week I’ve been deeply reminded of the fear story that I’ve been carrying, ‘not being well enough to live a fulfilling life because my digestive health is failing’.
This is the same story my grandmother carried, and she died in fear with this story in her which was unconsciously passed on to me, and I accepted it.
For 8 years now I’ve been having various challenges with my digestive health. I’ve seen many different professionals and tried many different remedies and lifestyle changes. Some have worked and some haven’t. Over time things seemed to have mostly settled, then just a month ago the issues flared up again in a bigger way.
This brought up the old fear story for me as I prepare for a trip of a lifetime. I’m going to Egypt on a sacred pilgrimage to the visit the lands and ancient sites with 13 other women. This will be my first trip overseas and I’ve always been fascinated with Egyptian history, never thinking I would get the opportunity to visit until it showed up to me. I was very drawn to go, and decided I was going, even though it felt way outside my ability to be able to take such a trip.
Worries and a wide range of emotions have been coming up for me since these flare ups have been happening. My mind races and makes up stories based in old fears.
What if I am not well enough to fully experience this trip? What if I am stuck in my room and miss the tours, or what if I am not able to digest the food there? All that disappointment and money spent if I might not be able to full experience it.
These stories are very similar to what my grandmother used to tell herself. She was afraid to go far from home, let alone on a plane to another country. Everything centred around her digestive limitations and she was petrified of having an ‘accident’ while out in public. These fear stories debilitated her and she became a hermit and was very lonely in her later years.
I will never forget seeing her in the final days of her life living in fear. I visited her almost every day and seeing her like that was very sad because there wasn’t much I could do other than comfort and reassure her that she would be ok.
What it did do was motivate me to face my own fears and not go down the same path as she did. In this regard, she was a great teacher to me and not long after she transitioned I was divinely guided to take the Radical Forgiveness Master Coach 10 day training in Atlanta.
It was a huge step for me, and again way outside my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because it set me on the trajectory of facing my fears, and the journey of living my love story.
I am eternally grateful to be on this path of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance just as I am, and in time I have learned to love myself. I’m still on this healing journey however this year I’ve had some major shifts in this area of my life and feel truly worthy and deserving of this love for myself because I have freedom from the fears.
This is where the synchronicity comes in again.
It just so happens that this Friday, the day I fly to Egypt, is the 9 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and it’s a full moon! You just can’t make these things up. I didn’t realize the mysterious alignment of these dates until just a few weeks ago.
In numerology the number 9 represents endings and completions and I have a strong intuitive feeling that this trip is going to be transformational for me as a new beginning.
The other day when I was dancing my grandmother came to my mind, she was dancing with me, and I know she is leaving me these breadcrumb signs to follow to complete this stage of my journey. I made a promise to her that I was going to end the cycle of fear she carried and commit myself to healing into wholeness.
I have no doubt that this is all happening for me, rather than to me. And unlike my grandmother, I will face my fears and take this trip and I will trust in the divine unfoldment of it all.
I am reminded that everything is always working out for me, even if it doesn’t seem that way and she is cheering me on all along the way.
These are the same phrases I spoke to the women when I was on stage just a few days ago and they echo loudly in my mind as the beautiful blessings of having the freedom to live my love story.
If you would like to experience the guided visualization for yourself listen to the audio recording so you too can be free from your fear story and claim your love story.
In my next blog I will share about my travel adventures so stay tuned, and if you would like to be notified when I share it you can join my email Love Letter list at the bottom of this page.
Until next time… thank you for being here.
They don’t want to bring up old emotions; they actually don’t even think it bothers them because it’s buried so deep in their DNA they don’t realize it’s still there in their body deep down. (I experienced this.) Radical Forgiveness helps you feel your feelings and love and accept yourself for having them so you can release them. This is imperative to the process and relieves a lot of guilt and pain in itself.
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