One thing we all have in common is generational pain. I’m referring to the challenging relationships, and the deep trauma we pass on through our family which can be influenced by just about anything.
We have created many ways to feel separate and alone, it’s what our soul came here to experience initially for its evolution, the opposite of what is true.
Through periods of darkness, challenges, and hardships, we are forced to dig into our experience by feeling it fully and being pushed outside of the limitations we put on ourselves or were taught by others. This is where we gain our wisdom and become better for having the experiences.
Did you know most of our pain does not even belong to us? We have taken it out of a need to relieve someone else of their pain. We have a tendency to do this when we feel that the other person is unable to bear the pain themselves. As children we take on our parents’ pain, we forget it’s their pain, make it our own and play it out in our own lives. Often we carry the pain of our mother or father or both, our grandparents, or we could also carry the pain of our sibling; that was me.
We carry things like core belief systems, world views, guilt, shame, blame, oppression, poverty mindset, dis-ease, and all types of abuse and addictions.
Once we understand the pain and identify the suffering we can do something about it and come to the realization that everyone is right where they need to be doing what they are meant to, there are no mistakes when we view it from a divine perspective which is a radical way to look at life.
We are first humans, of course, so we want to have understanding and empathy for each other and would never say something like ‘It’s meant to be’ to someone who is feeling pain or separation.
By keeping this wisdom in the back of our mind of what the bigger picture is, we are each here fulfilling our soul’s journey, having human experiences as spiritual beings, it helps us to not get caught up in the patterns of our relations and instead work towards breaking them and creating healthy ways of being.
It also helps us to have less attachment, not try to control life, feel sorry for people, or complain about them because they aren’t living their life the way we think they should.
Instead, we can stay in our lane, focus on our own life, and take full responsibility for our energy while not interfering with another’s. These ways of being can help to heal the generational pain of our relations.
This isn’t easy with family dynamics, we are often entangled from lifetimes of karma, and the pain can run deep but once we are aware of it we can begin to discern as to what is our pain and what we are carrying for others and then do the inner work.
This is Radical Forgiveness work.
So here we are nearing the end of the year 2021, isn’t it time to at least consider letting go of your generational pain? You don’t even need to have a relationship with the person to not be carrying another’s pain as your own.
I’m not saying you must concede to the other or tolerate abuse of any kind, healthy boundaries are very important. It’s about shifting your perspective from outward to inward and seeing how you contribute to the situation.
To heal and grow you can only change yourself and it starts by taking full responsibility for your well-being, thoughts, feelings, actions, and behaviors.
The family relationships we may perceive as difficult are actually the opposite, from the soul’s point of view. Our souls guide us toward these challenges with our family so we will keep experiencing the pain and eventually transcend it.
As we heal our generational pain, it moves us towards being free and sovereign, not codependent or victimhood, and our true self can come through with more ease.
We know that our consciousness creates our reality so why wouldn’t we learn more about this so we can heal and be happy while accepting each other and our differences? Why keep spinning our wheels?
There is an energetic remembrance that keeps us on our missions together as we evolve generation after generation. We begin to remember who we are and gradually we break the patterns of our past generations and heal, and only then can we can live from our hearts fully.
As we do the healing work our energy shifts and untangles from theirs so they too are free to heal the past pain we carried for them. This is their free will to choose, it is not our choice.
Breaking generational pain patterns is a practice and it’s a whole lot easier with guidance and support.
If this is resonating with you let’s discuss it further on a complimentary Clarity Call, no obligation, just an exploration to see if you are ready. Either way, you will leave the call with recommended action steps for where you are on your purposeful journey.
I invite you to book a Clarity Call here.
Besides impacting the lives of others to ‘be real and love life’ the most powerful thing about the work I get to do is the reflections of the teachings that come back to me. I always receive some type of wisdom, healing or blessing from the experience, whether it’s a private, group session or a speaking event.
Whatever the message is that I’ve conveyed I am somehow reminded of how it applies to me as well and it guides me towards the next stage of my growth.
Being aware of the subtle messages that are being sent to guide us forward is very empowering.
Last weekend at the Soul Full Day conference, I guided a group of 70 women through a visualization meditation to identify and let go of a fear story holding them back from what they truly wanted for their life, freedom to live their love story.
It was remarkable to witness them releasing the fear and claiming their love stories, seeing and feeling themselves living in the higher potential of their dreams.
This week I’ve been deeply reminded of the fear story that I’ve been carrying, ‘not being well enough to live a fulfilling life because my digestive health is failing’.
This is the same story my grandmother carried, and she died in fear with this story in her which was unconsciously passed on to me, and I accepted it.
For 8 years now I’ve been having various challenges with my digestive health. I’ve seen many different professionals and tried many different remedies and lifestyle changes. Some have worked and some haven’t. Over time things seemed to have mostly settled, then just a month ago the issues flared up again in a bigger way.
This brought up the old fear story for me as I prepare for a trip of a lifetime. I’m going to Egypt on a sacred pilgrimage to the visit the lands and ancient sites with 13 other women. This will be my first trip overseas and I’ve always been fascinated with Egyptian history, never thinking I would get the opportunity to visit until it showed up to me. I was very drawn to go, and decided I was going, even though it felt way outside my ability to be able to take such a trip.
Worries and a wide range of emotions have been coming up for me since these flare ups have been happening. My mind races and makes up stories based in old fears.
What if I am not well enough to fully experience this trip? What if I am stuck in my room and miss the tours, or what if I am not able to digest the food there? All that disappointment and money spent if I might not be able to full experience it.
These stories are very similar to what my grandmother used to tell herself. She was afraid to go far from home, let alone on a plane to another country. Everything centred around her digestive limitations and she was petrified of having an ‘accident’ while out in public. These fear stories debilitated her and she became a hermit and was very lonely in her later years.
I will never forget seeing her in the final days of her life living in fear. I visited her almost every day and seeing her like that was very sad because there wasn’t much I could do other than comfort and reassure her that she would be ok.
What it did do was motivate me to face my own fears and not go down the same path as she did. In this regard, she was a great teacher to me and not long after she transitioned I was divinely guided to take the Radical Forgiveness Master Coach 10 day training in Atlanta.
It was a huge step for me, and again way outside my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because it set me on the trajectory of facing my fears, and the journey of living my love story.
I am eternally grateful to be on this path of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance just as I am, and in time I have learned to love myself. I’m still on this healing journey however this year I’ve had some major shifts in this area of my life and feel truly worthy and deserving of this love for myself because I have freedom from the fears.
This is where the synchronicity comes in again.
It just so happens that this Friday, the day I fly to Egypt, is the 9 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and it’s a full moon! You just can’t make these things up. I didn’t realize the mysterious alignment of these dates until just a few weeks ago.
In numerology the number 9 represents endings and completions and I have a strong intuitive feeling that this trip is going to be transformational for me as a new beginning.
The other day when I was dancing my grandmother came to my mind, she was dancing with me, and I know she is leaving me these breadcrumb signs to follow to complete this stage of my journey. I made a promise to her that I was going to end the cycle of fear she carried and commit myself to healing into wholeness.
I have no doubt that this is all happening for me, rather than to me. And unlike my grandmother, I will face my fears and take this trip and I will trust in the divine unfoldment of it all.
I am reminded that everything is always working out for me, even if it doesn’t seem that way and she is cheering me on all along the way.
These are the same phrases I spoke to the women when I was on stage just a few days ago and they echo loudly in my mind as the beautiful blessings of having the freedom to live my love story.
If you would like to experience the guided visualization for yourself listen to the audio recording so you too can be free from your fear story and claim your love story.
In my next blog I will share about my travel adventures so stay tuned, and if you would like to be notified when I share it you can join my email Love Letter list at the bottom of this page.
Until next time… thank you for being here.
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