Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar?
You rush around the house in the morning trying to get everything done. As time ticks on you notice that your kids are moving at an even slower pace than when you started. You erupt and as the shouting ends and your child looks up at you, you feel it, that sinking terrible feeling, guilt.
Guilt seems to be built into motherhood. We can feel guilty when we take a little time for ourselves or spend money on ourselves. We feel guilty when we aren’t doing enough, giving enough, being enough. Even though we are busy being employees, entrepreneurs, teachers, housekeepers, nurses, grocery shoppers, taxis, organizers, friends, wives, etc. we still feel guilt.
Eventually, all that guilt can start to take a toll on you. Health problems can come to light as well as sleeping issues, depression among others.
Did you know that guilt is a low vibration feeling that can keep us stuck and leads to shame?
Guilt is defined as, the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime. Or to make someone feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something.
There is appropriate guilt when we actually did do something wrong and in this instance, we do have some responsibility to take for our actions but there is also inappropriate guilt where we didn’t do anything wrong but we take it on from others, society, etc. Mothers are especially stuck with this type of guilt.
Then there is associated guilt. That’s when we feel responsible and guilty when someone we are associated with does something wrong. A family member, a co-worker, or a person we don’t know and we had an interaction with and then find out something happened to them and we feel guilty we didn’t do anything.
The last form is when others project their guilt onto us and we take it! And in return we try to make others feel guilty, it’s a vicious cycle!
It is important to remember that we are human and we are allowed to be frustrated, sad, happy, angry, confused, anxious, worried and the list goes on. We are also beautifully imperfect and should not strive for perfection. The truth is that no one is.
When you look at the scenario above when you have lost your temper with your child, the odds are your child will forgive you instantly but we will carry the guilt around with us all day long or longer.
Ironically the more guilt we feel the less able we are to forgive ourselves.
David Rappo once said, “Guilt is rooted in actions of the past, perpetuated by the lack of action in the present and delivered in the future as pain and suffering.”
That’s why Radical Forgiveness is so powerful. It helps you release the feelings of guilt and shame that you are holding onto. Whether it’s mother’s guilt, girlfriend’s guilt, or guilt of any sort, by releasing that guilt, you can make room for positive changes in your life and gain freedom from your past.
There’s one present you can give yourself, your presence to yourself so you can unravel the stories and heal the pain. It’s not as hard as it may feel.
Find out how you can be empowered and get a handle on guilt along with forgiving radically by discovering how you can re-write your Hero’s Story with my workbook.
Get instant access here.
Besides impacting the lives of others to ‘be real and love life’ the most powerful thing about the work I get to do is the reflections of the teachings that come back to me. I always receive some type of wisdom, healing or blessing from the experience, whether it’s a private, group session or a speaking event.
Whatever the message is that I’ve conveyed I am somehow reminded of how it applies to me as well and it guides me towards the next stage of my growth.
Being aware of the subtle messages that are being sent to guide us forward is very empowering.
Last weekend at the Soul Full Day conference, I guided a group of 70 women through a visualization meditation to identify and let go of a fear story holding them back from what they truly wanted for their life, freedom to live their love story.
It was remarkable to witness them releasing the fear and claiming their love stories, seeing and feeling themselves living in the higher potential of their dreams.
This week I’ve been deeply reminded of the fear story that I’ve been carrying, ‘not being well enough to live a fulfilling life because my digestive health is failing’.
This is the same story my grandmother carried, and she died in fear with this story in her which was unconsciously passed on to me, and I accepted it.
For 8 years now I’ve been having various challenges with my digestive health. I’ve seen many different professionals and tried many different remedies and lifestyle changes. Some have worked and some haven’t. Over time things seemed to have mostly settled, then just a month ago the issues flared up again in a bigger way.
This brought up the old fear story for me as I prepare for a trip of a lifetime. I’m going to Egypt on a sacred pilgrimage to the visit the lands and ancient sites with 13 other women. This will be my first trip overseas and I’ve always been fascinated with Egyptian history, never thinking I would get the opportunity to visit until it showed up to me. I was very drawn to go, and decided I was going, even though it felt way outside my ability to be able to take such a trip.
Worries and a wide range of emotions have been coming up for me since these flare ups have been happening. My mind races and makes up stories based in old fears.
What if I am not well enough to fully experience this trip? What if I am stuck in my room and miss the tours, or what if I am not able to digest the food there? All that disappointment and money spent if I might not be able to full experience it.
These stories are very similar to what my grandmother used to tell herself. She was afraid to go far from home, let alone on a plane to another country. Everything centred around her digestive limitations and she was petrified of having an ‘accident’ while out in public. These fear stories debilitated her and she became a hermit and was very lonely in her later years.
I will never forget seeing her in the final days of her life living in fear. I visited her almost every day and seeing her like that was very sad because there wasn’t much I could do other than comfort and reassure her that she would be ok.
What it did do was motivate me to face my own fears and not go down the same path as she did. In this regard, she was a great teacher to me and not long after she transitioned I was divinely guided to take the Radical Forgiveness Master Coach 10 day training in Atlanta.
It was a huge step for me, and again way outside my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because it set me on the trajectory of facing my fears, and the journey of living my love story.
I am eternally grateful to be on this path of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance just as I am, and in time I have learned to love myself. I’m still on this healing journey however this year I’ve had some major shifts in this area of my life and feel truly worthy and deserving of this love for myself because I have freedom from the fears.
This is where the synchronicity comes in again.
It just so happens that this Friday, the day I fly to Egypt, is the 9 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and it’s a full moon! You just can’t make these things up. I didn’t realize the mysterious alignment of these dates until just a few weeks ago.
In numerology the number 9 represents endings and completions and I have a strong intuitive feeling that this trip is going to be transformational for me as a new beginning.
The other day when I was dancing my grandmother came to my mind, she was dancing with me, and I know she is leaving me these breadcrumb signs to follow to complete this stage of my journey. I made a promise to her that I was going to end the cycle of fear she carried and commit myself to healing into wholeness.
I have no doubt that this is all happening for me, rather than to me. And unlike my grandmother, I will face my fears and take this trip and I will trust in the divine unfoldment of it all.
I am reminded that everything is always working out for me, even if it doesn’t seem that way and she is cheering me on all along the way.
These are the same phrases I spoke to the women when I was on stage just a few days ago and they echo loudly in my mind as the beautiful blessings of having the freedom to live my love story.
If you would like to experience the guided visualization for yourself listen to the audio recording so you too can be free from your fear story and claim your love story.
In my next blog I will share about my travel adventures so stay tuned, and if you would like to be notified when I share it you can join my email Love Letter list at the bottom of this page.
Until next time… thank you for being here.
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