We have many selves. Some are loud and in our head most often and others are subdued and quiet and you may not even know they are there if your other selves are extremely loud.
These selves were born out of survival of our early upbringing. They are called ‘survival personalities’ and the term was created by Robert Assagioli, an Italian Psychiatrist in the 1900’s who founded Psychosynthesis, a spiritually oriented therapeutic system. This modality is very similar to Radical Forgiveness.
Assagioli showed us that we don’t have just one self but several of them, we can also call them our inner children. These different selves were created to manage our wounds or deficiencies from childhood, our injured sense of selves that we lost along the way.
Assagioli indicates that in order to quiet these various selves we must make an empathetic connection to each of them. They are lost parts of us that are waiting to be heard, understood and accepted.
Denying them only intensifies the patterns in our life, so know, when you are triggered by someone or something it’s a clear indication there is some inner work to be done. We regress back to that lost self who is crying out for it to be heard and it becomes a pattern in our life we will keep repeating until we have acknowledged it, heard it and accepted it as part of who we are.
In the book, Radical Self-Forgiveness, Colin Tipping focuses on the three human selves that hold the key to self-forgiveness. They are our judging self, the critical parent and our self-loving self.
Our judging self is the loudest and most persistent. We hear how wrong we always are and feel guilt regardless if we are guilty or not.
Our critical parent self is not as persistent but it’s depreciating, we are treated like a little kid being scolded and love is withheld as the punishment for the perceived offence. This self is damaging to our self-esteem as it pours on the shame.
Listening to these selves can become major patterns running in our life that are going to intensify the feelings of guilt and shame. (the lowest vibrating feelings we have)
Our self-loving self, or our inner lover, is the quiet one, these other two selves are way too loud to allow us to hear our inner lover much of the time. You may not even know you have an inner lover but you do!
This part of your human self lives in your heart and loves you no matter what. It’s forgiving of your faults and shortcomings, even the big ones. It’s empathetic and compassionate to you and your feelings. It knows all parts of you, your loves, joys, dreams, fears, disappointments etc.
It is like a mediator of your various selves, it can pull them all together in support of your true emotional character. But it’s not that easy because the judge and the critic very seldom listen and their motive is to make us wrong. How can we forgive ourselves if we are wrong?
We have to get radical!
With Radical Self-Forgiveness we are not asking any of these selves just mentioned to forgive us, we are appealing to our I Am Self, our Higher Self. This self is not part of our human selves, it’s our spiritual self that exists above all others yet we are least aware of this self unless we have opened up to it with practice.
Our I Am self is connected to the Divine, God, Spirit, call it what you want.
This self knows the truth of who we are, that we are all connected, what the purpose of why we are here really is; it’s in the spiritual realm where only love exists.
Our I Am self knows that in the spiritual realm there is no right or wrong, good or bad. It simply observes and loves us unconditionally. No judgement, no criticism, just compassion, empathy and love.
Our I Am self sends us guidance through our own psyche. Our sixth sense, our intuition. We all have it, it’s just more developed in some people.
When we connect with our intuition we get the messages we need to hear. It’s subtle so we have to practice paying attention.
We can also call it our Spiritual Intelligence. We can receive this guidance in the form of physical feelings, intuitive knowing, dreams and other subtle messages.
Our intuition or Higher Self is our best guide. Do you want to learn how to have a better connection with your intuition?
- Start meditating, even if it’s 10 minutes a day. (Click here for tips on how to meditate)
- Write your thoughts and feelings daily in a journal.
- Practice being present in the moment, work towards not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
- Pray, ask for guidance from God, Spirit, your Guides, Angels, they will always answer you.
It’s all working according to a divine plan so surrender to the ride and be the observer in your life. Try these and see where they lead you. You might be surprised.
Do you like this? Make sure you read my next blog!
I will be sharing an interview with Angel Morgan of Raising Energy on how to increase your intuition. Angel is a renowned psychic, animal communicator and media personality, who is also my friend, and she graciously agreed to share her best tips with me to share with all of you.
Watch for this interview in the next few weeks and until then, be the observer in your life, notice your repeating patterns, and love an accept yourself, flaws and all! Awareness is the first step and doing the above will increase your awareness.
Besides impacting the lives of others to ‘be real and love life’ the most powerful thing about the work I get to do is the reflections of the teachings that come back to me. I always receive some type of wisdom, healing or blessing from the experience, whether it’s a private, group session or a speaking event.
Whatever the message is that I’ve conveyed I am somehow reminded of how it applies to me as well and it guides me towards the next stage of my growth.
Being aware of the subtle messages that are being sent to guide us forward is very empowering.
Last weekend at the Soul Full Day conference, I guided a group of 70 women through a visualization meditation to identify and let go of a fear story holding them back from what they truly wanted for their life, freedom to live their love story.
It was remarkable to witness them releasing the fear and claiming their love stories, seeing and feeling themselves living in the higher potential of their dreams.
This week I’ve been deeply reminded of the fear story that I’ve been carrying, ‘not being well enough to live a fulfilling life because my digestive health is failing’.
This is the same story my grandmother carried, and she died in fear with this story in her which was unconsciously passed on to me, and I accepted it.
For 8 years now I’ve been having various challenges with my digestive health. I’ve seen many different professionals and tried many different remedies and lifestyle changes. Some have worked and some haven’t. Over time things seemed to have mostly settled, then just a month ago the issues flared up again in a bigger way.
This brought up the old fear story for me as I prepare for a trip of a lifetime. I’m going to Egypt on a sacred pilgrimage to the visit the lands and ancient sites with 13 other women. This will be my first trip overseas and I’ve always been fascinated with Egyptian history, never thinking I would get the opportunity to visit until it showed up to me. I was very drawn to go, and decided I was going, even though it felt way outside my ability to be able to take such a trip.
Worries and a wide range of emotions have been coming up for me since these flare ups have been happening. My mind races and makes up stories based in old fears.
What if I am not well enough to fully experience this trip? What if I am stuck in my room and miss the tours, or what if I am not able to digest the food there? All that disappointment and money spent if I might not be able to full experience it.
These stories are very similar to what my grandmother used to tell herself. She was afraid to go far from home, let alone on a plane to another country. Everything centred around her digestive limitations and she was petrified of having an ‘accident’ while out in public. These fear stories debilitated her and she became a hermit and was very lonely in her later years.
I will never forget seeing her in the final days of her life living in fear. I visited her almost every day and seeing her like that was very sad because there wasn’t much I could do other than comfort and reassure her that she would be ok.
What it did do was motivate me to face my own fears and not go down the same path as she did. In this regard, she was a great teacher to me and not long after she transitioned I was divinely guided to take the Radical Forgiveness Master Coach 10 day training in Atlanta.
It was a huge step for me, and again way outside my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because it set me on the trajectory of facing my fears, and the journey of living my love story.
I am eternally grateful to be on this path of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance just as I am, and in time I have learned to love myself. I’m still on this healing journey however this year I’ve had some major shifts in this area of my life and feel truly worthy and deserving of this love for myself because I have freedom from the fears.
This is where the synchronicity comes in again.
It just so happens that this Friday, the day I fly to Egypt, is the 9 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and it’s a full moon! You just can’t make these things up. I didn’t realize the mysterious alignment of these dates until just a few weeks ago.
In numerology the number 9 represents endings and completions and I have a strong intuitive feeling that this trip is going to be transformational for me as a new beginning.
The other day when I was dancing my grandmother came to my mind, she was dancing with me, and I know she is leaving me these breadcrumb signs to follow to complete this stage of my journey. I made a promise to her that I was going to end the cycle of fear she carried and commit myself to healing into wholeness.
I have no doubt that this is all happening for me, rather than to me. And unlike my grandmother, I will face my fears and take this trip and I will trust in the divine unfoldment of it all.
I am reminded that everything is always working out for me, even if it doesn’t seem that way and she is cheering me on all along the way.
These are the same phrases I spoke to the women when I was on stage just a few days ago and they echo loudly in my mind as the beautiful blessings of having the freedom to live my love story.
If you would like to experience the guided visualization for yourself listen to the audio recording so you too can be free from your fear story and claim your love story.
In my next blog I will share about my travel adventures so stay tuned, and if you would like to be notified when I share it you can join my email Love Letter list at the bottom of this page.
Until next time… thank you for being here.
Denying them only intensifies the patterns in our life, so know, when you are triggered by someone or something it’s a clear indication there is some inner work to be done. We regress back to that lost self who is crying out for it to be heard and it becomes a pattern in our life we will keep repeating until we have acknowledged it, heard it and accepted it as part of who we are.
Our I Am self is connected to the Divine, God, Spirit, call it what you want.
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