As I write this I am reflecting on the past year and am amazed at how much has happened, how much has changed and the endless possibilities for the future, but for right now in this moment I am savouring the joy and gratitude I feel.
Recently I was part of a World Peace Summit with some other incredible women. Some were seasoned speakers, some had only spoken on stage a few times before and one brave woman was speaking for the first time, sharing her stories many women would feel ashamed of, but she wasn’t defining herself by her past. She was determined to speak up and be the voice for many who hadn’t found theirs yet.
We spoke about human dignity. There were many great ideas on what that means but overall the message was ‘if we don’t value ourselves with dignity we can’t treat others with that same respect.’
How can we create a peaceful world if we are not peaceful inside?
I believe we are all equal, we have all been ‘there’ at one time or another. Speaking for the first time, sharing stories from the past, coming out of our shell where we stayed safe and small due to fear of judgements and the uncertainty that we even have something valuable to share.
We are all here to lift each other up and support our fellow community to rise above the noise, stand up for something we believe in and shine our light so others can find us!
I truly believe this is a big part of our mission for being here … along with fully experiencing the ups and downs of life so we can learn and grow.
I still get a little nervous before I take the stage but it goes away once I’m there and something drives me to express myself and share my stories because it always helps someone else know they are not alone in how they feel or the experiences they find themselves in.
There was a time not so long ago I was terrified to stand on stage feeling ashamed to tell others how I treated myself with a lot of “dis-respect”.
The subject I shared was my negative self-talk. This is a topic I think everyone can relate to. Some of us let our inner critic tell us what to think and do and it can be very disempowering. I did this for many years and once I became aware of it and saw the damage it was doing I was able to do something about it.
So if you think you might have a similar inner dialogue in common with this I invite you to answer these questions honestly without judging yourself:
- What runs through your head, is it constant thought?
- What are you saying to yourself when something goes wrong, when you feel overwhelmed or it’s just one of those challenging days?
- Do you automatically take the blame for things that go wrong? Maybe not outwardly but you think about how you weren’t enough in some way.
- Maybe you have someone(s) in your life who blames you when something goes wrong?
- Do you have a hard time accepting compliments and deflect them or maybe not even acknowledge them and change the subject to something different?
I was my own worst enemy and I can now spot it pretty easily since I became aware and know how it works.
Negative self-talk is a habit and like any other habit it can be hard to break when you automatically do it. I had no idea how often I was berating myself until I paid attention to my inner critic and even when I tried to override it I wouldn’t believe it on the inside.
When we get in the habit of this there are some things we can do to counteract it and change our self-talk so we can feel peaceful and happy.
# 1 Pay attention to what you are saying to yourself – awareness is the first step towards change.
# 2 When you notice your negative self-talk reverse it – ‘I’m an idiot, I forgot again!’ Can be reversed into ‘Oh I forgot again, well that’s ok I’ll make sure to write it down for next time.’
# 3 Practice positive self-talk – As soon as you wake up and open your eyes say something that will uplift you such as, “Today is going to be a great day! I’m excited to see what will unfold.” (This might feel cheesy or false if you’re not feeling it but remember, your brain doesn’t know if you are telling it a lie or a truth so praising ourselves every day for what we did do well or maybe we got through it even though it was tough is important to celebrate.)
I created a fun way to create positive self talk and I’d love to share it with you!
It’s the Soul Adventure Game where you use your energy, intuition and inspired action for creating clarity, transformation and magic in your life.
My clients and pilot group are loving it and having profound results in only a couple months!
You can find out more about this unique way to make personal development a positive habit here and kick your inner critic to the curb …. with love of course!
Besides impacting the lives of others to ‘be real and love life’ the most powerful thing about the work I get to do is the reflections of the teachings that come back to me. I always receive some type of wisdom, healing or blessing from the experience, whether it’s a private, group session or a speaking event.
Whatever the message is that I’ve conveyed I am somehow reminded of how it applies to me as well and it guides me towards the next stage of my growth.
Being aware of the subtle messages that are being sent to guide us forward is very empowering.
Last weekend at the Soul Full Day conference, I guided a group of 70 women through a visualization meditation to identify and let go of a fear story holding them back from what they truly wanted for their life, freedom to live their love story.
It was remarkable to witness them releasing the fear and claiming their love stories, seeing and feeling themselves living in the higher potential of their dreams.
This week I’ve been deeply reminded of the fear story that I’ve been carrying, ‘not being well enough to live a fulfilling life because my digestive health is failing’.
This is the same story my grandmother carried, and she died in fear with this story in her which was unconsciously passed on to me, and I accepted it.
For 8 years now I’ve been having various challenges with my digestive health. I’ve seen many different professionals and tried many different remedies and lifestyle changes. Some have worked and some haven’t. Over time things seemed to have mostly settled, then just a month ago the issues flared up again in a bigger way.
This brought up the old fear story for me as I prepare for a trip of a lifetime. I’m going to Egypt on a sacred pilgrimage to the visit the lands and ancient sites with 13 other women. This will be my first trip overseas and I’ve always been fascinated with Egyptian history, never thinking I would get the opportunity to visit until it showed up to me. I was very drawn to go, and decided I was going, even though it felt way outside my ability to be able to take such a trip.
Worries and a wide range of emotions have been coming up for me since these flare ups have been happening. My mind races and makes up stories based in old fears.
What if I am not well enough to fully experience this trip? What if I am stuck in my room and miss the tours, or what if I am not able to digest the food there? All that disappointment and money spent if I might not be able to full experience it.
These stories are very similar to what my grandmother used to tell herself. She was afraid to go far from home, let alone on a plane to another country. Everything centred around her digestive limitations and she was petrified of having an ‘accident’ while out in public. These fear stories debilitated her and she became a hermit and was very lonely in her later years.
I will never forget seeing her in the final days of her life living in fear. I visited her almost every day and seeing her like that was very sad because there wasn’t much I could do other than comfort and reassure her that she would be ok.
What it did do was motivate me to face my own fears and not go down the same path as she did. In this regard, she was a great teacher to me and not long after she transitioned I was divinely guided to take the Radical Forgiveness Master Coach 10 day training in Atlanta.
It was a huge step for me, and again way outside my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I could have done for myself because it set me on the trajectory of facing my fears, and the journey of living my love story.
I am eternally grateful to be on this path of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance just as I am, and in time I have learned to love myself. I’m still on this healing journey however this year I’ve had some major shifts in this area of my life and feel truly worthy and deserving of this love for myself because I have freedom from the fears.
This is where the synchronicity comes in again.
It just so happens that this Friday, the day I fly to Egypt, is the 9 year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, and it’s a full moon! You just can’t make these things up. I didn’t realize the mysterious alignment of these dates until just a few weeks ago.
In numerology the number 9 represents endings and completions and I have a strong intuitive feeling that this trip is going to be transformational for me as a new beginning.
The other day when I was dancing my grandmother came to my mind, she was dancing with me, and I know she is leaving me these breadcrumb signs to follow to complete this stage of my journey. I made a promise to her that I was going to end the cycle of fear she carried and commit myself to healing into wholeness.
I have no doubt that this is all happening for me, rather than to me. And unlike my grandmother, I will face my fears and take this trip and I will trust in the divine unfoldment of it all.
I am reminded that everything is always working out for me, even if it doesn’t seem that way and she is cheering me on all along the way.
These are the same phrases I spoke to the women when I was on stage just a few days ago and they echo loudly in my mind as the beautiful blessings of having the freedom to live my love story.
If you would like to experience the guided visualization for yourself listen to the audio recording so you too can be free from your fear story and claim your love story.
In my next blog I will share about my travel adventures so stay tuned, and if you would like to be notified when I share it you can join my email Love Letter list at the bottom of this page.
Until next time… thank you for being here.
It was joy get to now you
Big hug and love
We are Building new future generations.
Thank you Shareena, I feel the same. It takes many of us to shine our lights so others can find theirs! Love and light to you!